Guilty: a book "review"

As it turns out I just finished reading Guilty: Hollywood's Verdict on Arabs After 9/11 by Jack G Shaheen and, it's got to be said, what a huge disappointment. When I saw it in the library I thought, "What a great idea for a book", and even after reading this I still think it's a great idea for a book. This just isn't that book.

First off, there are no footnotes or end-notes in this book, so when Mr. Shaheen quotes someone he does not provide a direct way for the curious reader to look up the quote and decide for him or herself whether or not the quote has been used in context. An example would be when Mr. Shaheen quotes former Republican senator Fred Thompson who was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Fred says that he did not want to be a career politician as he had always "longed for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood." Did Fred say this? I believe Mr. Shaheen when he says that he did, but in what context? Was Fred being sarcastic or ironic? (To be fair, in the back of the book there is a section called 'Works Cited' and the Thompson quote is in there, if you search for it. The following quote is not.) The author also quotes comedian Jackie Mason, claiming, "Jackie Mason tossed in a few slurs, calling "the whole Muslim religion" a "murderous organization" that teaches "hate, terrorism and murder."" Where and when is this quote from we are not told, but note the enthusiastic use of quotation marks.

I would also appear to me that Mr. Shaheen swings a little wild in his examples of anti-Arab sentiment in Hollywood. Movies in which neither 9/11 nor Arabs are even mentioned are brought up, which I think is a little unnecessary. The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King, and entirely Arab-free movie is mentioned because he feels that in a battle scene which "features bad guys in black head scarves", these bad guys are "Bedouin clones". Sorry Jack, I missed that particular reference. The movie The Da Vinci Code is mentioned because, "when Code's Tom Hanks feels threatened, the camera cuts to a man wearing a Sikh-looking headscarf and sitting in a sleek expensive car. Should viewers think anything at all about this scene, they'll likely think Arab Oil Sheikh." Or not ( in my case, not.) Then there's Team America: World Police, a puppet film by the creators of the cartoon tv-show South Park where some of the bad-guys are actually stereotypically Arabic looking although the film is more about a generic terrorist action with the main bad-guy being Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il of North Korea (reported to not be an Arab.) It was also a puppet show. With Puppets. Puppets.

Jack Shaheen got hold of a pretty great theme here and I am sure there are several books worth of material out there for this subject since post (and pre) 9/11 bigotry and stupidity is something that should be studied in depth. It just deserves better treatment than this. I don't doubt Mr. Shaheen's good intentions, but when he starts looking at things that have absolutely nothing to do with Arabs and pointing fingers at them, well, that just cheapens the entire exercise.

Anyway... Humouroceros

He used to be a man

So Senator John McCain (R-Arizona) thinks that some or all of the 911 murderers came across the border from Canada. Of course the fact that it has been proven time and time again that this is not the case probably just doesn't matter to the Senator since when one is shooting his mouth off the facts just are not as important as the mouth noises are. The rotten thing is that I can remember when John McCain was a man, and not this thing he has turned himself into. Jesus, John. I thought there was hope for you.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Butt-lick boogie

So everybody's favourite night-time talk-buddy, Jimmy Kimmel, had super-huge-celebrity Billy Bob Thornton on his show the other night. The ass-kissing got off to a start right away and withing seconds Jimmy's nose was good and brown. The CBC Q interview came up right away (I suspect that Jimmy had been ordered to start his interview off this way) and The Billy explained that he did this sort of thing all the time (you know, the 'being a dick' thing) and really, it was that stupid interviewer's fault for asking FORBIDDEN questions. Jimmy, being an ass-kisser, slurped right up with a hugely brave, "yeah, a deal's a deal". Then The Billy gave another example of when he had done this 'dick' thing he does all the time, this time it was from an interviewer in Germany who 'crossed the line' and made The Billy angry with a FORBIDDEN question. It sort of looks like The Billy only does this to those damn foreigners who don't know how to follow orders. Well then, fair enough. Jimmy Kimmel knows how to follow orders, doesn't he? The Billy knows that when he is on Jimmy Kimmel's show there will be no awkwardness or anything like that. The Billy knows that Jimmy Kimmel will tow the line. Good boy, Jimmy.

I found The Billy's comments about his melt-down clip making it to the news pretty funny (not funny ha, ha, if you know what I mean. ) He seemed to be under the impression that the only reason anybody knows about his dickness is because it was a slow news week and there was nothing else for serious news organizations to cover. You know what, The Billy? I'm pretty sure that no serious news organization had your little hissy-fit as the lead story. Another entitlement-challenged celebrity wetting his pants just isn't that sort of story. That is the sort of story that you use as filler. What happened in this circumstance was "the Internet" took over with what they call "viral video". "Viral video", The Billy, is when someone finds something interesting or, in your case, weird, and sends it to all of his or her friends. This is how it spreads these days. Hardly news at all, really. Sorry there, The Billy, but in the greater (or lesser) scheme of things your delusions just don't matter. You are not "news" in any real sense, but as long as you have Jimmy and his ilk around you can be "news" in that sense. So that's something, right?

Anyway... Humouroceros

Jimmy 'assuming the position' just before giving The Billy a 'double-cheeker'.
You go, Jimmy.

Churching the unchurched

I just finished leafing casually through Inside The Mind Of Unchurched Harry And Mary: How to reach friends and family who avoid God and the church, by Lee Strobel, a self-confessed lapsed atheist. As the title suggests this is a manual for saving your average poor unhappy atheist from his or her own bad self. So, what's the buzz, I'll tell you what's a happenin'.

First off, let's discuss Lee's style. It strikes me as being in a 'neighbour over the fence' conversational style. It seems to me that Lee is trying to show that he's not that boring old-style religious stereotype that atheists are so wary of. Lee is more of a coffee and doughnut kind of guy you can talk about movies with. This style is lost on me since when someone I don't know comes on too 'buddy buddy' I just wonder what he's trying to sell. Sorry Lee, it's just the way I'm wired (we'll call it 'free will' if you like.)

Next, Lee's methodology. He has divided the first few chapters with his own observations of "unchurched" Harry or Mary ('unchurched' is the term used to describe someone who chooses not to go to church and has, in fact, turned their face from god, sorry, God, since the other ones apparently don't count), and how a well-meaning Christian could respond to these observations. Lee was a reporter for the Chicago Tribune "back in the day" so one would assume that his observational skills would be pretty good. Maybe not though. Lee's "unchurched" are a confused bunch. They don't want to, or "can't" believe in a god, but they want their children to have "religious training". They themselves mainly don't know what they believe in. Frankly it is hard to believe that Lee was ever a card-carrying atheist (and I never did see him at any of the meetings.) Also, his responses to some of his observations can be kind of odd (almost as odd as many of his observations are.) "Observation #12: Even if Harry's not spiritually sensitive, he wants his children to get quality moral training." From a church? Please. The condescending "I guess you are just not ready to accept God into your life" attitude (that's right, or gremlins or yetis or little green men from Mars), hating gays and believing that your "unchurched" friends are going to burn in Hell for eternity is not "quality moral training". Then there's "Observation #14: Harry is proud that he's tolerant of different faiths, but he thinks that Christians are narrow-minded." This one is my favourite because Lee's response is that Christians are not narrow-minded, then he goes on to show just how narrow-minded they are. One story is of Lee speaking to a young Hindu man, who was quite willing to accept Jesus as the son of god, since (as Lee writes) Hindus "have millions of gods" and they would "be glad to add Jesus as one more." So it seems that Hindus are open-minded and tolerant, but Lee didn't want anything to do with that. He "asserted that Jesus is the only son of God, that's when he got indignant." (italic for 'only' was Lee's, italic for 'he' was mine.) Silly Hindu man, being all tolerant and stuff until Lee's 'my way or the hiway' stuff then he gets all indignant like. It's just as Lee says, Christianity's "door is open to anyone who wants to come in", as long as you tow the party line. Otherwise, you goin' to Hell, boy. You gonna burn! Right.

Lee's book carrys on with what sorts of "sticking points" atheists have with becoming religious (#1" I can't believe, #2: I don't want to believe, and more.) The essential point here is that the "unchurched" either; want to become religious and are only looking for someone to show the way, or they are close-minded and belligerent (not open-minded like Christians are) and not willing even to look at any empirical evidence there is for religious belief. Of course Lee's own standards of evidence are pretty flimsy. Early on in the book Lee describes how he turned from being a hell-bound atheist sinner into a evangelical and, according to him, it did involve critically examining the evidence for the existence of God, mainly (oddly enough) from the Bible. And what was the corroborating evidence? Oh yeah, that was from the Bible too. It may be my own sinning heart, but I just have trouble accepting as proof something from the same book. It does make me wonder just what kind of a reporter Lee was. Picture this, if you will; Lee, hard-hitting investigative reporter for a newspaper in Chicago picks up a lead on a crooked politician. He jumps into his gas-guzzling, polluting car and burns over to the crooked politicians office, running red lights and knocking over apple-carts on the way (because your average atheist is a selfish lout.) "Hey," accused Lee as he spots the crooked politician, "I hear you're crooked!" "Nope, not me," claims the crooked politician, "I'm as straight as an arrow." "Ha!" scorns Lee scornfully, "I'm going to need a second opinion before I believe that!" "Okay," says the crooked politician, "I'm handsome too!" Lee's headline would be; "Crooked Politician Not Crooked At All But Rather Straight And He's Handsome Too!" I submit that critical thinking just doesn't seem to be Lee's strong-point.

The rest of the book carrys on in the same vein and while I realize that I am not the target audience I have to wonder just how valuable it would be to it's actual target audience. Lee's view of what an atheist is seems to be more a Christian's view of what they would like an atheist to be rather than what it actually means to be an atheist. Unfortunately it just may get a few well-meaning but misguided Christians sworn at, but those are the breaks sometimes. Personally I would have put 'read at your own risk' on the cover and then let the chips fall where they may. It's that 'free-will' thing again.

In the meantime I believe I'll have a glass of water, shaken, not stirred.

Anyway... Humouroceros

A new word

In my continuing effort to make the world a better place without invading anyplace I have come up with a new word that will make things better for lots of people. The situation that we have all found ourselves in is, one has to urinate and there is no place to do it (being 'caught short' I think is how some put it.) The word is "peemergency". Use it well. You're welcome.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Flame-tards

Came across the Internet term "flame" a while back, looked it up, thought, "yeah, dorks" and pretty much left it at that. Everything has it's weak-kneed giddy-twerps who just have to put in their two-cents worth, especially when their particular two-cents worth is grossly over-valued. Anybody who has ever bothered to look at web-site comments or to look in on any forums that may look interesting will have no doubt run across flametardic comments. These are the comments by "people" who post all the "you think that, you must be a moron" type comments. You know, personal attacks. You know, they're dip-wads.

Looking back over my own checkered past, Internet-wise, have I ever been flamed? Yes, actually. It was on a forum regarding a Canadian book-store chain removing the sofas and comfy chairs from their stores because of health concerns. I commented (behind the utterly clever web-name of 'Flip Moran') that while I personally didn't use the chairs or sofas I liked them as they could be considered part of the customer service. A person who said that they worked in one of these stores in Toronto said that if I had to clean these chairs and sofas every day maybe I wouldn't be liking them so much since they were always covered with various bodily fluids and I must be really stupid. Obviously this person was really passionate about what she was writing, right? If people in Toronto are constantly going into bookstores to urinate, masturbate and drool (in that order?), well that is kind of gross and I wouldn't want to have to deal with it. Not without a cattle-prod anyway. So I made the rookie mistake of going back to the forum to explain myself. I said that as I lived quite a way away from one of these stores I just liked the ambiance that the sofas and chairs projected in the store. Then I really got blasted. Apparently I am a whiny little bitch and I shouldn't be blaming other people for where I live and since I don't live near one of these stores I don't have the right to have an opinion. That response was signed "Idontlikewhinypeople". Being a slow learner I finally figured out that these folks were not interested in a reasoned discussion. It was just name calling and insults without actually having the nerve to do it face to face, but that's fine. My last response to the response was, "Dear Whinypeople; When they took out your sense of humour, did it hurt? Your friend; Flip". I haven't bothered to go on any forums since because I have better things to do and my tolerance for 'dumb' has gone way down these past few years.

It's just that the personal attacks on someone who is willing to discuss things like grown-ups without even bothering to think are offensive. Knee-jerk reactions (with the emphasis on 'jerk') are not worth the paper they are written on. And being a big-man behind a keyboard is just sad. My image of these sad little people is of someone living in their mommy's basement who are on the computer sixteen out of twenty-four hours in a day as they are incapable of dealing with other people face to face. You know, scum-turds infested with butt-maggots. Terrible, terrible. Maybe one day there will be a vaccine? One can only hope. If I were superstitious I would pray for them.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Poor, poor Alberta

Poor Alberta has been Canada's whipping boy (or "bitch") for long enough, according to Premier Big Ed Stelmach. "All we're asking for is respect," Ed whimpered, apparently forgetting that respect is earned not given, claiming that Alberta "can't carry the country" just before asking the Feds for more money for health care. Looks like Canada's richest province can't quite take care of it's own citizens any more. Rich food, cigarettes and liquor are taking their toll it would seem and now the Albertan provincial government wants to change how they deliver the Canada Health Act to their citizens. They have some interesting ideas ('interesting' as in the Chinese curse of "may you live in interesting times") whereby there is talk of individual Albertans choosing what services they want to buy health insurance for and which they don't. On the face of it this is totally reasonable. Planning on having a heart attack or stroke? Just buy insurance for those. Not planning on cancer? Don't buy insurance for that. Maybe you think you will be getting skin-cancer and not lung-cancer, so you buy skin-cancer insurance and don't bother with lung-cancer insurance. Yup, sounds good to me. Good old frontier thinking, right? Live how you want to live and if you choose wrong, well you can always sell the house and cash in the kids college funds, right?

It sounds like the same old "get rid of the system that works and go for a United States style system" that some are so fond of. Of course it does make sense to go to a system for the rich and get away from that socialist stuff where everybody is take care of. What kind of country is it that makes sure that all of it's citizens have health care? Why, our friends to the south (the United States) don't worry about that sort of stuff so why should we? So hey, Government of Canada, you just send a pile of money Alberta's way, along with some tissues, and it's not their fault that the price of oil isn't quite as high as they would like since they were smart enough to build their province on a bunch of oil and nobody else was. It's like Big Ed says, Alberta has been "screwed" by the federal government long enough and it's time for the sugar to flow the other way. Yeah!

Anyway... Humouroceros

PS: Hey Alberta; not everybody is against you so blow your noses and get back to work.

And the gloves hit the ice...

The gloves are off, the writ has dropped and it's on, baby. Our hugely popular (in some circles), debonair (for a hillbilly) and hardly intoxicated at all Premier (known to his friends as Hiz'onour Gord Campbell) spent a wild and woolly 20-minutes pitching a fit at the luxurious mansion of the Lieutenant Governor of BC (AKA: His Honour the Right Honourable Stephen Price.) "I can't work with those bums no more," Gordo is rumored to have bellowed as he entered the building, spitting on the floor and stealing an early '60s ashtray, "for later." L-G Price calmed the Premier down with a few quick jabs and the next thing you know, just like magic, the 38th parliament of the Legislative Assembly has been dissolved and it's mud-slinging time.

It's early day(s) yet but so far it would appear that the opposition NDP (the New Democratic Party) is claiming that the ruling Liberals are all 'steaming piles of crap', while on the other hand the ruling Liberals are calling the opposition NDP a 'steaming pile of crap.' Flip flop, flop flip and we'll just have to keep our eyes open to see which is telling the truth (I suspect they both are.) In the third corner is the Green Party, but they're just going for the sympathy vote and wouldn't it be nice if everybody could just get along? Yeah, whatever, hippies. Like, go hug a tree or something and let the adults get back to ruining the province. Punks.

And just to spice the pot a bit this election time, there will also be a province wide referendum on the STV, which while it sounds like a sexually transmitted disease is actually the what-cha-ma-call-it for the Single Transferable Vote. This is a method of vote tabulation which one side says if it wins it will spell the end of democracy as we know it and the fall of western civilization. Of course those in favour of it say that if it does not pass then it will be the end of democracy as we know it and western civilization will fall. Sounds like a "you say potato, I say potato" thing to me. I don't know but it might be exciting, if you are excited by that sort of thing.

So there it is. Keep a weather-eye peeled for politicians of various stripes tromping all over your lawn and remember, don't use mouse-traps to catch politicians. Use rat-traps. They're bigger and they hurt a whole lot more.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Irony

I was just wondering, would a "green" Hummer be ironic? And doesn't the US military, which is where the Hummer was first used, use a lot of green paint on their vehicles, and if so, do they understand the irony? Anyway, I was just wondering.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Billy Bob; and, scene

Billy Blob's band has canceled the remainder of it's tour of Canada, or to be a little more accurate, they have probably been booted from the opening slot of Willie Nelson's tour. Of course it is just speculation that they were tossed from the tour, but I think it's a pretty good guess as Willie Nelson is a professional who has paid his dues, and Billy Bob is a dick. As has been extensively covered in the world press this past while, Billy went full-on peckerhead on the CBC radio show Q a couple of days ago, and while the host Jian Ghomeshi treated Billy professionaly this was a little more that poor old Billy was capable of. Billy displayed his 'chops' by being a jerk for 15-minutes straight, leaving it to the rest of his band to pick up his slack. Well on one hand you can see the problem, what with a huge mega-star like Billy Bob Thornton having to talk to the little people, but on the other hand, he is a jag-off.

So the story is that they opened for Willie Nelson at Massey Hall in Toronto and when Billy mentioned the radio show onstage there were boos and people were heard to call out, "Here comes the gravy." I guess when Billy said that his band was used to people throwing things he didn't mean throwing insults at his-own-dumb-self. Well, poop. My thought is that Willie Nelson's people would have noticed this and as Willie does not need losers sharing the stage with him, Billy's band was asked to bug off. It is sort of surprising that a mega-huge-star such as Billy couldn't just make a few phone calls and set up a tour of his own, but that's showbiz I guess. But then maybe that was plan 'A', and now they had to fall back to plan 'B' which was where Willie Nelson's web-site wrote up a note saying that Billy's band had to cancel, "due to one band member and several of the crew having the flu." (This same note is on the Boxmaster's site as well.) Of course none of Willies people are sick, and if they are they are carrying on. Of course, as I said earlier, Willie is a pro.

So this stupidly ugly little saga is oozing to an end. Billy probably still doesn't understand just how much of a dick he has shown himself to be, but when you are just entitled to peoples respect rather than having to earn it, that is the way it goes sometimes. Tough luck there, Billy. How long until you show up on Fox News claiming that it was all just taken out of context and what a bunch of whiners and lefties Canadians are? Won't be too long, I suspect.

Anyway... Humouroceros

PS: Hey Billy, I hear that you are afraid of antiques. Does that mean you scream ever time you look in a mirror? Ha!

Billy the dick, and "friends"

Tofu on the licence plate

Ms Kelly Coffman-Lee of Colorado, USA, tried to order a vanity plate for her SUV with ILVTOFU on it. She and her family are vegan and tofu is a staple of their diet. Unfortunately the Colorado Division of Motor Vehicles has put the brakes on her plans since as a department spokesman says, "some people could read that (the FU bit) as street language for sex." (and yes, I am wondering where that particular street is.) To me, this is unconscionable. Just because Ms Coffman-Lee is a chick (or a woman), she is not allowed to put what she wants on a vanity licence-plate.

Let's look at this from another angle for a moment. Say this was a guy looking to arrange a vanity licence-plate? His name is, say, Hardman Steele, and his wife is named Becky-Jill. Now Hardman loves his wife a lot and wants to let everybody know so he orders a plate that says ILUVBJS (try to make some sort of sexual thing out of that, even "as street language"!) Would Hardman be allowed to order a plate like that? Of course he would, BECAUSE HE'S A MAN!! Jeez-Louise, it's the twenty-first century people. Broads should have all the rights that men do. Get with the program, folks. Thanks for listening.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Billy Bob, again.

Holy, leapin’ crackers there, Billy Bob, but here it is only 24-hours after you sulked your way through an interview on CBC where you felt it necessary to insult your band’s Canadian fans and now you are mumbling just how much you love Canada. “I love Canada, absolutely,” you say through the butt-smoke, meaning I guess that you dislike your band’s fans while you “love” the country they live in. Oh how wackily celebrity-esque can you be? It’s either that or maybe you are just gutless.

Let’s see now, what was it you said yesterday? Oh yes, “Canadian audiences seem to be very reserved. We tend to play places where people throw things at each other. Here, they just sort of sit there and it doesn’t matter what you say to them. It’s mashed potatoes but no gravy.” Yeah, that’s right. Then now you say, “I was talking about the guy who was interviewing me. I don’t know his name.” (It’s Jian Ghomeshi there Billy Bob. I know that some of you folks from south of the 49th tend to have trouble with “foreign” sounding names so maybe that’s why you don’t know his name. That and it was like 6:00 in the morning and that is pretty early for a self-involved celebrity to have to be up and awake.) You know what, Billy Bob? I think you were talking about Canada and Canadians with the mashed potato thing. So I wonder why you would try to pretend you didn’t mean what you said in the way that you obviously meant it? Try this conversation on for size:

Boxmaster guy #2: Gosh boss. Maybe you shouldn’t have insulted the people who are coming to watch us play.

Billy Bob (boss): Shut-up and clean my toilet. I want you see your face in it.

B. guy #2: Yes sir. It’s just that (B.guy#3) and I were talking and…

B.B.(b): What!? I told you about that. You guys don’t talk unless I give you permission. That’s the rules and you know it. Pick that bit of crud out from under my toenail.

B. guy #3: Sir, what we’re trying to say is that these Canadians are paying money to see us…

B.B. (b): Gawdamn what did I tell you. Nobody paid nothing to see you all. If it weren’t for me you would all still be sitting in some studio hoping someone will let you play. The way it works is this; I tell you what to do and think and you do it. Everybody’s happy. Lick my armpits, they’re starting to smell and we celebrities cannot smell ever!

B. guy #2: Sir. What if you just say something about how you like Canada or something like that? That guy Jian…

B.B.(b): So this is some sort of mutiny or something? You guys are siding with that foreigner, is that right? You’re worried that he is some sort of terrorist with that name, right? That’s it, right?

Both B guys together: No sir. We know that with you around we don’t have to be afraid of anything else. No. No.

B.B.(b): Shut-up. You guys make me sick. You’re all worthless and weak. Just to make it so I’m not changing your diapers for the rest of the tour I’ll say something nice about these f***ing Canadians, but you guys are going to pay. I’ll tell you that right now. My bed better be extra warm and comfy tonight, and we are going to play ‘cliff-dive’ later, full contact! Understand?

Both B guys together: Yes sir. Oh, thank-you sir. You’re the best boss ever.

B.B.(b): Shut-up!

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Anyway… Humouroceros

Billy Bob with a smoke.
What a dick.

Billy and the Box-liners

Ah yes, the age of entitlement is alive and well and it's latest "celebrity" embodiment is named Billy Bob Thornton (taking over from Miley Cyrus who was going to "destroy" the band Radiohead because they wouldn't meet with her. Of course Miley is what, 16-years old?) Poor old Billy had his mellow harshed this week in an interview on the show Q on the CBC. Host Jian Ghomeshi kept asking him all these questions, and he had to be up at, like, 6:00 AM, and he couldn't show how cool he was by smoking cigarettes, and it was, like, a total nightmare for poor old Billy. Gosh, the things a "celebrity" has to put up with these days.

Apparently Billy took offence when Ghomeshi mentioned that Billy, in addition to being in a band, was also an actor, director and screenwriter (for which he won an Academy Award, proving that the Acadamy Award standards are pretty low I guess), and went all full-on Joaquin Phoenix, playing the spoiled celebrity card for all it was worth. The celebrisnit lasted for the entire interview with Billy showing just how much of a dick he could be (this was especially jam-ass since it was only a few years ago when Billy was asked if it was difficult being a nice guy. "Not for me," the liar answered. Funny thing but the same article where I read that [at canoe.ca from November 24, 2006] also called Billy "Hollywood's go-to guy". I think the phrase they were actually looking for was "toad".) Billy eventually tugged out his full colours when he said, "you were instructed not to talk about that." Oh dear, it must be a real trial for huge celebrities like Billy when the peons don't follow orders. Why can't the little people just do what they are told?

It looks as though it slowly filtered through Billy's "brain" that maybe he wasn't coming across so well, so then he began to attack his band's fans in Canada. They are "very reserved" Billy mumbled, comparing them to "mashed potatoes, but no gravy." They also don't "throw things". Hey there, Billy, maybe that'll change now. Duck! Then at the end of the interview the band was going to play a song live, but Billy didn't want to take part because he doesn't cart his drums around at 6:00 AM (I'd be willing to bet that Billy doesn't ever cart his drums around. That is not what huge stars like him do) so the rest of the band performed without him. Well, it looks like they're not so much a band as they are Billy's employees. They are also way more professional than he is. That would be the difference between a real musician and a wanna-be, I guess.

You know what Billy, don't feel that you have to hurry back or anything.

Anyway... Humouroceros

PS: I am not a big fan of Jian Ghomeshi. I don't mind him, and his show Q has had some amazing guests on it at times, but I find that his style of interviewing sometimes tends to be that he sounds more interested in showing how intelligent his questions are, than he is in hearing the answer. This is just my opinion, and I still will be listening to Q when there is someone on who I would like to hear, and Jian has a radio show and I don't. I also hear there was something between him and Memo-girl on the CBC. Lucky guy. So there.

Billy Bob Thornton - sunglasses don't make you look cool, old man.

Oh really?

So I hear that Bill O'Reilly was on Dave Letterman's show recently and while there he said he doesn't like former Vice President, Dick Cheney: "We asked him a million times... he wouldn't come on." So did Bill sic his attack monkeys on old Dick (Porter Barry and/or Jesse Watters)? Didn't Bill say that if someone refuses to come on his show then his "producers" (ie: attack monkeys) go out to find the person and get them to explain themselves. He sent out big, burley Jesse Watters to corner Ms Amanda Terkel (you da man, Jesse! Hah-ruh!) so what happened when they went after Dick? Of course, Bill does like to talk, so maybe when he said that his ape-ettes went after people he was just talking (making mouth sounds). I mean, going after young girls like Ms Terkel is one thing but going after the Vice President to get him to explain himself is something else. It's like O'Reilly is full of shit or something.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Ca-Na-Da; one little, two little...

Canadians of a certain age will remember this design, and it can still be found here and there across this great country of ours. You have to remember that in 1967 this was cutting edge cool. Of course we all remember the Canada Song too (with the flugelhorn). Good times, good times.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Blood-thirsty United Stations

Now personally I think that our friends to the south (the United States) depend a little too much on their own fantasy-history than is really good for them. They are not all descended from cowboys and they are not all rugged individualists who 'won the west' and 'tamed the red-indians' and all the rest of that stuff. Sorry, it's just the facts. Something else is, they also don't tend to "shoot first and ask questions later". This week some dude stole a small plane (a four-seater Cessna of some description) from the Confederation Flight School in Thunder Bay, Ontario, and flew it into the United States, apparently hoping that he would be shot down by the US military. The Wisconsin National Guard scrambled a couple of F-16 fighters who followed the Cessna until it landed in Missouri. Oddly enough, they didn't try to shoot the Cessna down (which probably would have taken them less than a second), they just followed it, trying to contact the pilot who was ignoring them. Not real blood-thirsty when you get right down to it.

It is true that some living south of the 49th tend to play on the rootin'-tootin' shoot 'em up thing, but the real professionals are a little too, uh, professional, to play that game. Unfortunately the last Presidential administration bought into that image a little too fiercely, and now a lot of people are paying (and have paid) the price for that. The US image around the world is not real good just now and it is going to take the current administration a while to work it's way through so that the US has the international support they should have (and which they did have just after the 9/11 attacks but which was blown entirely by the Bush administration). Of course all the right-wing dimbulbs are offended by how President Obama is presenting himself to the world, but that is not a real surprise. The 'be a bully' crowd is not real well known for being thoughtful at all. And still there are the professionals, like those in the Wisconsin National Guard, who show what the true US spirit is like. These are the people who's actions should be paid attention to, not the loud-mouths of the right.

Anyway... Humouroceros

The Story Of Stuff

Check it out. Well worth the visit. http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Anyway... Humouroceros

That stupid Liberal media

The big news recently was that at the end of the G29 Summit, during the "family photo" which is traditionally taken of all the world leaders in attendance, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper was missing as he had stepped out to the 'gents' for a moment to take a quick pee. The world press got hold of the "story" and next thing you know everybody is claiming the Big Steve was more interested in tinkling than talking. This is, to be crude, a big pile of steaming crap. Steve was not off "watering the horse" but was in fact ready and able to have his picture taken in all his Canadian glory. Buddy can hold his water as well as the next guy so where did this story come from?

The Liberal media, is my best guess. That crew will stop at nothing to make Conservatives look bad, and the more childish the claim the more likely it is to be taken seriously by the international press. It is a sad story actually. Such an obvious falsehood and one that was easily disproven. Here below is the original photo before it was taken and altered by some Liberal minion. I can only hope that the international press will start offering sincere apologies to the Canadian people, which we will think about, and will probably even accept one day. We are, after all, Canadian. Just don't let it happen again.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Bender don't surf

Uh-yuh.

Anyway... Humouroceros

'Scuse me...

Anyway... Humouroceros

Protocol, shmotocol

Once again our friends to the south (the United States) have left me shaking my head, wondering WTF is up with them. President Obama and his wife, Michelle, are in Jolly Olde Eng-er-lund to hang with the powers that were (aka: the G20) and just check stuff out generally. Naturally when the leader of the world's super-power (duh USA) visits the capital of a previous world super-power (Eng-er-lund) then it only behooves the leader of the first to visit with the leader of the second. Heck, it's only good manners. So President Obama had his minions talk to the Queen's minions and next thing you know Barrack and Michelle are entering Buck-house to see Liz (don't touch the paintings, don't use the ashtrays, and don't sit in the old chairs, they're wobbly).

I have heard that for the average schmuck (and new Prime Ministers), there are a stack of rules to follow so that one shows the proper respect towards the monarchy. Don't want to offend the Queen, don't you know, and all. Don't turn your back on her, don't eat if she isn't eating at the moment, don't poke her in the tummy and say, "gotcha!", don't use her smock as a hanky, and number one with a bullet on the 'don't' list, DON'T TOUCH HER. At all, never, not even once just to see what she feels like. This is called 'protocol'. And then the President's wife goes and touches the Queen. Right in front of everybody and everything. It's a scandal but the thing I don't understand is why our friends to the south (the United Stations) got so hopped up about this.

As a Canadian of some description (believe it or not the Queen is the head of state for Canada, and my sister spoke to her once) shouldn't I be getting all bent out of shape because one of those upstart colonials laid hands on the Queen? Well I'm not. In fact the pictures I have seen show a scene that is totally natural and tells me everything I will ever need to know about Michelle Obama. It appears that there was an instant liking between the Queen and Michelle Obama, and there is nothing wrong with that. So why are there dorks in the US media trying to make this into something that it is not? Beats doing your job I guess.

Of course I have never really understood the US fascination with the British Monarchy. Way back when Price Charles and Lady Diana visited the States you would have thought it was the second coming of JC (and I don't mean because Chuck was there). Didn't they have some sort of revolution a couple of hundred years back about this stuff? So what's the deal? Why get all excited now? Back then they had King George III, and he was crazier than a bucket of cats. Now that's a guy that I would have liked to have seen. He could have brought his wife the tree and it would have been awesome. But no, they throw those Limeys out of their bit of North America, then wait 200-years to get all excited about the current British royalty, who are all boring. Whatever, I guess. In my book, Michelle can touch the Queen all she wants.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Sita Sings The Blues

Nina Paley is the creator of Sita Sings The Blues, a free online movie you can download for your very own. For free. No strings attached. Check out: sitasingstheblues.com because it is worth doing. It just does not get cooler than this.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Ia DownAdUP (it don't add up)

The international computer industry is all aquiver RE: the latest "killer bee" issue, AKA: Conficker (or the less catchy DownAdUP) worm. The nerd talking-heads have been all over this since November of last year (2008) when the worm first reared it's ugly head. Since then top people in the computer industry have been busy as heck on this deal. Microsoft became macrohard and offered a $250,000 USD bounty on the do-badders who created this thing, dead or alive! Yeah! (Ok, I was kidding about the 'dead or alive' thing. Sorry.)

Well here it is April 1, 2009 (04-01-09), the expected activation date of the Conficker worm, and so far nothing. Actually nobody expected anything to go down today. Those who watch these sorts of things say that between 1,000,000 and 2,000,000 computers have been infected world-wide (which is a weird variation if you think about it. Let's take 1,000,000 as a base number even though it could be 1,000,000 more. Could it also be 1,000,000 less? Hmm?)Threat analyst Paul Ferguson of Trend Micro computer security says, "It doesn't seem to be doing anything now." He continues, "the big mystery is what those behind Conficker are going to do. When they have this many machines under their control it is kind of scary. With a click of the mouse they could get thousands of machines to do whatever they want." Just like the Transformers. Cool.

Anyway... Humouroceros

My home computer. On the tower you can see the Compostex 48 Anti-virus peripheral. The only anti-virus you will ever need.

Oh, come on!

You know what I hate? I hate it when a band releases a CD, then a year or two later re-releases that same disk with a bunch of extras thrown in. I figure that some do it strictly because they are greed-heads and can't help dumping on their fans that way. But when a band like Bad Religion does it, that just hurts. I bought New Maps Of Hell in 2007 and now I see they have re-released it with a bunch of new songs and a live DVD. Thanks guys. Way to think of your supporters. When the next disk comes out I'll probably buy it, I like them that much, but the sparkle has been taken off.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Miley Cyrus

I see that Miley Cyrus probably won't be doing any more Hanna Montana movies. She is probably wanting to devote more time to destroying the band Radiohead. Good focus. You go, girl.

Anyway... Humouroceros