Wednesday, January 21, 2009

One for the team

The latest news out of Bradenton, Florida, involves an amateur theatre group where the director busted a cap at one of his lead actors, chipping off a chunk of skull and some ear-meat. The 81-year old actor, who was playing the part of Lenny in the John Steinbeck classic, Of Mice And Men, had the ear bit reattatched and is recovering nicely. "I really feel no pain," said the freshly stitched seniour, following up with, "I was really lucky." Yeah. Getting shot in the face and walking away with nothing more serious than a new head-crease and an oddly shaped ear is pretty lucky alright.

The offending weapon was a gun being used as a prop in the play and had been supplied by another member of the theatre group and in what is being described by some as "stupid" nobody had thought to make sure that the weapon was unloaded before using it. It might have made a bit more sense to have gone to some sort of store and bought a toy gun (this is amateur theatre after all) but then hind-sight is 20/20 so who am I to judge? The bright side in all of this is that they weren't doing some sort of a war play wherein the audience might have been sprayed with machine-gun bullets. That would have sucked. This is show-biz though and no publicity is bad publicity so on with the show, funny looking Lenny and all.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Perry's peter pinched

As much as I like to be on the very cutting edge of the news, entertainment and otherwise, I do miss the occasional bit of information out there. I came upon this one quite by accident. I caught a short clip that mentioned that self-abuse-miester, Johnny Knoxville, had been arrested for trying to get a grenade onto an airplane. Of course as is so often the case the actual story was somewhat less interesting than the headline. It turns out that the "grenade" was just the body of a grenade, sans explosive or a firing pin, that he had been using in a photo-shoot. Okay, kind of dumb but not criminal. There was a link to a related story which stated that Johnny Knoxville had been sued. The newshound in me took over and I hunted that story down, and am I ever glad I did.

It turns out that on September 27, 2006, actor-comedian, Perry Caravello was on the Adam Carolla radio show out of Los Angeles. Johnny Knoxville was in the house and is alledged to have offered Perry $10-million dollarses to place his (Perry's) weiner in a mouse-trap. It looks like, Perry being a wacky crazy type, Perry went ahead and did it. A quick snap later and Perry is crying like a little girl, and about as well endowed (unit-wise) as that same little girl. Well our friends to the south (the United States) are nothing if not litigious, so Perry rushed (or 'crawled') out and got a lawyer and in June 2007 he filed suit against Johnny Knoxville, Adam Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel and comedian Don Barris. Mister Caravello claims that he was physically harmed, his inner tranquility was harshed and he was all loaded down with emotional trauma due to the "assault and battery". Mister Caravello also says that he had to seek medical treatment for his injuries, pain and humiliation (I don't know what kind of medical treatment there is for "humiliation"). Now leaving aside for a moment just what sort of whack-job one would have to be to stick one's junk into a mouse-trap (I mean, those things kill mice, right?), I have to wonder just how dumb that same whack-job would be to believe that Johnny Knoxville has $10-million to toss around on cheap tricks. I mean, look at how the guy dresses. Don't think there's any $10-million floating around there.

Just another odd story from the la-la-land of the weird I suppose, and it looks like the splints came off and old Perry has lead in his pencil again since he dropped the law-suit in June, 2008. Snap!

Anyway... Humouroceros

Artist's conception of Perry at the "moment of truth"

Canadian Athiest Bus campaign

Just found this on the web-site for the Canadian Athiest Bus campaign at

Now that's good humour!

Anyway... Humouroceros

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Two for the price of one

So my buddy the dentist says that this tooth of mine, the lower left second bicuspid, is going bad and I should have that sucker yanked. I figured he knows what is what, tooth-wise, so I agreed and told him that I had some channel-locks out in my jacket if he needed them. He told me no, he preferred to use his own tools, which I totally understand. So in went the freezing, out came the tools, then out came the tooth. That wasn't too bad, I figured as they stuffed my mouth with cotton, and after a cheery good-bye I was off to chat with the receptionist. I pulled on my jacket as I was talking to her and she began to laugh, then she called in the nurse who had helped with the "procedure". "Look in his pocket," she says, and then the nurse began to laugh too. They had thought I had been kidding about the channel-locks but I did in fact have a pair in my jacket pocket (I hadn't put them back in my tool-box yet.)

Now I told that story so I could tell this one:

After having my tooth pulled I had to be careful to only chew on the right side of my mouth, and to rinse after every meal. So New-years eve pops up, as it tends to do this time of year, and I decide to go wild and have an olive stuffed with a garlic clove. Well it is the eve of a whole new year so I suppose I may have been chewing a touch crazily, and the next thing you know I have this garlic clove jammed into the socket where the tooth had been. I went and looked in a mirror and it looked as if my tooth had grown back. Ha, ha, I thought to myself as I tugged the clove out, and then I bled for quite a while. Happy New Year.

Anyway.. Humouroceros