Thursday, April 23, 2009

Butt-lick boogie

So everybody's favourite night-time talk-buddy, Jimmy Kimmel, had super-huge-celebrity Billy Bob Thornton on his show the other night. The ass-kissing got off to a start right away and withing seconds Jimmy's nose was good and brown. The CBC Q interview came up right away (I suspect that Jimmy had been ordered to start his interview off this way) and The Billy explained that he did this sort of thing all the time (you know, the 'being a dick' thing) and really, it was that stupid interviewer's fault for asking FORBIDDEN questions. Jimmy, being an ass-kisser, slurped right up with a hugely brave, "yeah, a deal's a deal". Then The Billy gave another example of when he had done this 'dick' thing he does all the time, this time it was from an interviewer in Germany who 'crossed the line' and made The Billy angry with a FORBIDDEN question. It sort of looks like The Billy only does this to those damn foreigners who don't know how to follow orders. Well then, fair enough. Jimmy Kimmel knows how to follow orders, doesn't he? The Billy knows that when he is on Jimmy Kimmel's show there will be no awkwardness or anything like that. The Billy knows that Jimmy Kimmel will tow the line. Good boy, Jimmy.

I found The Billy's comments about his melt-down clip making it to the news pretty funny (not funny ha, ha, if you know what I mean. ) He seemed to be under the impression that the only reason anybody knows about his dickness is because it was a slow news week and there was nothing else for serious news organizations to cover. You know what, The Billy? I'm pretty sure that no serious news organization had your little hissy-fit as the lead story. Another entitlement-challenged celebrity wetting his pants just isn't that sort of story. That is the sort of story that you use as filler. What happened in this circumstance was "the Internet" took over with what they call "viral video". "Viral video", The Billy, is when someone finds something interesting or, in your case, weird, and sends it to all of his or her friends. This is how it spreads these days. Hardly news at all, really. Sorry there, The Billy, but in the greater (or lesser) scheme of things your delusions just don't matter. You are not "news" in any real sense, but as long as you have Jimmy and his ilk around you can be "news" in that sense. So that's something, right?

Anyway... Humouroceros


Jimmy 'assuming the position' just before giving The Billy a 'double-cheeker'.
You go, Jimmy.

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