President Obama's long form birth certificate

Oh WTF President Obama, why would you go and do that? In an attempt to shut-down the "birther" movement in the US of A, on April 25, 2011 the Obama administration released the long form of the Presidents birth certificate from the 50th state in the Union (or Republic, if you would rather), proving for the final time to anyone who has an IQ over, say, 5 that President Obama was indeed born in the United States and it is thus legal for him to be President. On one hand this will probably not really matter because the seriously crazy folks of the extreme right in the US don't really care about the truth or anything so they will soon be squealing that this is a fake or something equally stupid. It will be interesting to see how a sort of maybe I will maybe I won't "candidate" like the Donster Trump will handle this. He has his "smart people" over in Hawaii right now looking for evidence that the President was not born there, and he has been all over the news grunting that what they are finding is "very interesting" (wasn't that a catch-phrase from Laugh In about 40 years ago?). So what was so interesting? That the President was actually born in the US? And if the Trumpalufagus's minions were finding that out then why was the Donster saying that he still wasn't sure? Was he confused? It is all kind of weird.

To me one of the ironic parts is that it wasn't all that many years back that the loonie-right was squanting that they wanted the law changed so that one didn't have to be born in the US to be President. I believe it was called the Arnold Schwarzenegger syndrome at the time. Of course saner heads prevailed when it was pointed out that the Anti-Christ could be born in another country and then move to the US and become president, so the law was never changed, but still, it is something to laugh about. Mind, as long as goofs like the "birthers" and Donald Trump are around, then there will always be something to laugh about.

Anyway... Humouroceros

The Youth Vote, again

I don't know why is is but every time there is an election there is another bout of gabbling about getting out the "youth vote". The theory is that the untapped youth vote is massive and any party that manages to get that crowd on board would cruise to a certain win in whatever race they were running in. Maybe, maybe. A look at the 2008 presidential election in the US would seem to bear this out. Some polls have suggested that it was younger people who tended to vote for President Obama so there may some slight truth to the theory. Of course, this is if you don't look at it too closely or think about it too much.

In 2010, two whole years after 2008, the President and his party needed the younger voters again, and they didn't show. Too busy playing video games or watching "reality TV" or something I suspect because hey, they voted two years before! What more do you want? I mean, like, gosh. That's the youth vote right there.

So now it is all going on, again, in the frozen north. All three parties (and the Green Party too, I guess) are talking "youth vote". They have to get the youth vote out. One of the leaders, the NDPs Jack Layton, has even been heard using "young-talk"; squirting out words like "bling", "hashtag" and "fail", whatever the hell all that is supposed to mean ("hashtag"? I can't even be bothered to look that up).I mean, WTF? Jack Layton is honestly so delusional that he thinks that grunting out a couple of "youth-isms" is going to pull in the suckers? He would probably be better off saying "23 ski-doo" or "pass the mints, Benny". You know, go for the geriatric vote. At least that is a group that does vote.

Some of what I have read indicates that the youth vote theory rests on how today's youth is so connected, what with texting and all the other social medias available. It is "easier" to be in touch so the assumption is that they are in touch. The experts point to Egypt and rumble at each other how so much of what happened there involved the Internet and social media, which didn't really make any sense to me. News reports out of Egypt at the time indicated that the unemployment rate was ultra high (and probably still is) so how is it that all these unemployed people are affording to spend their time on Facebook, or whatever, to arrange protests? Well, whatever, but if you think about it for a second all this yapping about being connected is a steaming pile of crap. I was out at lunch a few weeks back with some co-workers and at a nearby table there were six young people, all texting happily away. So, if ignoring the person sitting two feet away from you is "connecting"? I don't think so and while that is hardly an original observation, is is an accurate one.

The Facebook "phenomenon" is rarely even worth considering. There has been talk about setting up Facebook groups as if saying you "like" something is the exact same as actually doing something. Sorry guys, but it's not. In fact, burning daylight on Facebook is the exact opposite of "doing something". It is sort of like being a lump, actually. Facebook, or Twitter, or any of that stuff as an indicator of youth involvement is less than useless.

Another point I have heard made is that our Canadian youth will be inspired by what has and is happening across the world, with some governments falling and others seriously worried by the actions of young people in the streets. Right. Someone is actually dopey enough to compare someone who actually has no future other than struggle and sees him or herself as having nothing to lose, to a self-satisfied goof whose major worry in life is that the Internet connection isn't quite fast enough and mommy and daddy are too cheap to buy that huge flat-screen TV? Give your head a shake. The vision of someone who doesn't have easy access to non-toxic water and who doesn't know where the next meal is coming from is just naturally going to be a little more focused and realistic than someone who has never has these worries. There is no comparison.

So, am I saying that all young people are like that? of course not. That would be the same sort of gross over-generalization that people who talk about getting the youth vote out use. As a block, the youth vote does not exist and it never has. What example fro the last fifty years proves me wrong (other than President Obama, and I have already pointed out just how long the attention span lasted on that)? The baby boomers would be the first group there and in the States that would be the Age of Nixon, followed by Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, then Bush II. This is an example of the youth vote at work? I don't think that any of these guys were youth vote magnets. In Canada maybe you could point to Trudeau in 1968 (Trudeau-mania), but after Pierre it has been dud city right up to the current head toad in the pond. People, including the young who bother to vote, vote the way they do because of their beliefs and not because they belong to a certain age demographic. The youth vote as some sort of block vote is an illusion, and that's as true as it gets.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Russia FPS

I don't know who this guy is but the videos on YouTube are under Russia FPS and they're a lot of fun to watch. I have no idea if his accent is real or not but he does seem to know how to handle weaponry. Of course I don't know anything at all about guns so I would probably be pretty easy to fool. The thing is that I read some of the comments on his videos and there are always those wannabes who talk about all these amazing things they have done. Well, the Russian dude actually has video of what he is doing. Just good clean fun.

Anyway... Humouroceros

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXONItsEU7E

Donald Trump's minions in Hawaii

This morning I saw another report mentioning Don Trump's minions who are fine-tooth-combing the great state of Hawaii looking for damning stuff about President Obama, like, was Obama born in the United States or Kenya or what. The Donster refuses to let the facts stand in the way of a bad story so he says that his people are finding all sorts of good stuff, presumably proving that Obama is not US born, but he doesn't think that it is the right time to release it all to the public. Okay, back in elementary school we had a little thing called "put up or shut up". It was a recognition by elementary age children that someone who runs around grunting "I've got a secret", that person is either an idiot or a liar. Well gosh, I feel bad for the fact that the Donster is looking this way, so I have come up with a plan for the Donster, and he will like this, there is no charge.

What I suggest is that the Donster's minions find someone else who was born in Hawaii around the time that Barrack Obama (August 4, 1961) and see if you can get that person's birth certificate. If you can get a birth certificate then you know that the President is stonewalling on his birth certificate. If you can't get a birth certificate then you know that, well, the President has been telling the truth and and that Donald Trump is a dork. Hey, it's a simple idea and then the Donster can stop paying all those people he has in Hawaii. If there is one thing I have found about the truly rich, they don't like wasting money.

Just a thought.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Think!

Fat chance.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Bloc Quebecois-heads

Okay, so the Lib and the Con leaders are heading out here to the true west of British Columbia to woo the voters (ie: lie like the steaming piles of poop they are) and I could probably remember the name of some of the local candidates if I tried, maybe, but one fellow I haven't heard about heading out here is the beloved leader of the Block Quebecois, Gilles Duceppe. Now old Gill wants the top job as much as anyone, you can see it in his eyes. The eyes of a tiger, or as our French friends say, Il a les yeux d'un tigre et les boules d'un petit minou. My thing is that I don't know who the local candidate for the Bloc is. Mind you that I am as much of a separatist as the next guy, "Bug Off Quebec" is my motto, "Get out and take your whiny crap with you!" Reasonable, no? So, who is the local candidate?

I would hate to think that the only candidates for the Bloc are in Quebec, I mean wouldn't that be racist or supporting the terrorists or something? The rest of Canada isn't quite good enough for you, Gill? Fair enough. You are a big boy and I support you in that. Quebec off and on it's own, and none of that weak-kneed simplicity about Sovereignty Association or whatever that BS was. Quebec can make it on it's own, right? They don't need big brother Canada watching out for them. Quebec passports, Quebec money, Quebec embassies all around the world, yeah! You go girl! Anyway, Gill, who is my local candidate? Just send a list of all the BC candidates and I will pick my local one. Gill, you have my vote, oh yeah!

Anyway... Humouroceros

A guilty pleasure

or



Anyway... Humouroceros

PS.. or

Ah yes Men At Work. It's like an angel pooped in your ears.

Donald Trump for President - 2012

Yep, Donald 'the Donster' Trump, known to some as the Trumpalumfagus, is kicking around idea of running for President of those United States. Obviously as a man of vast wealth and no taste Don would hardly do something like this for the money or the prestige. In fact, he says he is considering running for the good on the country. You see, Don doesn't like what he sees going on in those United States or even the rest of the world for that matter.

Domestically, people are gaining access to affordable health-care, companies that just about went under during the recent economic nosedive brought on by greedheads Wall Street speculation (and which could have significantly increased the unemployment numbers in the US) have for the most part paid back government loans (with interest) that kept them afloat, a man born in the US is sitting pretty as President and it just goes on. Frankly, it's just a mess.

On the foreign front the Donster is offended that when the US of A reaches out to touch someone (militarily) these days it is done for "humanitarian" reasons rather than to just grab oil or something. It would appear that a Donster administration would bring back the good old days of bully diplomacy which made the US of A so respected around the world, "back in the day". And why would a president D.T. do something like that? Because right at this very moment the rest of the world is laughing at the US according to the Donald, and this makes him feel sad. And apparently when Don feels sad somebody has to pay the piper and that somebody is pretty much everybody else. Remember, this is a guy who borrows hundreds of millions and then is surprised and offended that he is expected to pay it back. In fact Deutsche Bank sued him for $40-million a few years back when D.T. decided that he didn't have to honour contracts because of the world-wide financial melt down that he claims it was impossible for him to have foreseen so why should he be blamed. This actually really surprised me. So the Donster feels that everybody who lost their homes due to the financial mismanagement of Wall Street should not have lost them because there was no way for all those folks to have seen it coming? No, I don't believe that, I just don't think that the Donster thought before speaking.

Okay, this is just all babble-goop anyway. The Donster has no intention of running for the presidency of the United States. First off, he knows that nobody would take him seriously. I mean, honestly. Buddy's a clown. He might as well work on Fox as a commentator. "No Brains, All Mouth!" (they can use that if they want, no charge). Secondly he has his little TV show with huge stars like Meatloaf and Joan Rivers on it. What caught my eye was the fact that there are people out there who said they would vote for him (probably the same sorts of people who think that children's beauty pageants are not sick and perverted). One has to assume that these people also believe in the D.T. philosophy in take oil from whoever has it, and this is a little bit of a concern for me because the country that the US gets most of it's oil from is (I'm putting it in code so that the people who think the Donster would be a good president don't find out where it is)... Well, it starts with "sea" and it rhymes with "anada". Mum's the word.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Glenn Beck canned. Fox News Service misses story

Anyway... Humouroceros

The Stupid Season

As if I need another reason to be grateful I live in Canada rather than that swirling nightmare to the south (let’s face it, while your average United Station is one of the best people you are ever going to meet, politically that place is a mess), I am now and forever thankful that the Canadian national political season only lasts about six weeks, start to finish.

Granted, six weeks of lying and babbling stupidity is hard to take, but at least it’s only six weeks. Another good thing is that being way out in the western most province (as I am) we don’t really have to put up with the national “leaders” of any of the parties slithering around here much. This is a good thing since to get the slime-trail stains out of everything costs a bundle. The local candidates are quite annoying enough but you know that right after the election they will disappear until the next election so you won’t have to see them for a couple of years, usually not even on the news.

The thing that really bothers me the most about election campaigns, even beyond the lying, the false promises and the self-induced mindlessness, are the campaign signs. They sprout up like rancid mushrooms all over the place and frankly I would rather see cigarette butts and used condoms littering the streets. The signs that some people put in their own yards are fine. People tend to litter their yards with all sorts of junk, garden gnomes, plastic flamingos, wire unicorn statues, and there are those people who never clean up after their dogs, and while political signs are far worse, they are on private property. The signs that bug me are those that are just place out for blocks on end by some political drone or another (remember? Self-induced mindlessness?) Yesterday I saw this, where several signs had been jabbed into the ground for blocks on end, including into the grounds of a school. This is totally offside, and is just one more reason I would like a bylaw against political signs on anything but private property. I propose that for any political sign put on any public property at all by any political party, or in the name of any political party, there would be a fine of $1000 per sign per week (or any portion thereof). A fine to be paid for by the party the sign represents.

Is this an idea just ripe for political parties to take advantage of each other, running up huge fines for each other? I sure is, and that is one of the best parts of this idea. Anybody who actually depends on the honesty of politicians or their minions needs a reality smack anyway, and this could turn out to be a decent spectator sport, watching the political parties screwing each other over for a change. So, how would we pay for the extra bylaw officers we would need to monitor all this? I suspect that the fines would take care of that, with money left over to put towards important things (you know, health care, education, the sorts of things that politicians talk about but don’t really care about. Oh, is that a touch cynical? Right after someone explains to me where the national child-care system is I will agree that this is merely cynicism. However both leading political parties have been grunting at each other about it for decades now, and both have been in power during that time and neither has done anything about it. Cynical? I don’t think so). Honestly, if this plan doesn’t create a win/win situation then I don’t know what will.

Anyway… Humouroceros

Leaders as regular guys...

Here are the three main political party leaders in Canada at the moment. Of course it's the silly season and stupid is in full bloom so these boys have to show the electorate just how they are just like the average goober in the street and that is why we should vote for them. Right.



There is Mister Jack Leyton, sleeves rolled up and ready to work, Michael Ignatieff passing out the drinks and big Steve Harper quadding like a regular dude. Give me a fucking break. I mean, is anybody really fooled by this sort of pandering? Well, at least they respect we voters, right? Right? Right.

Anyway... Humouroceros