Rob Ford - A New Record

It was a mighty effort but Rob Ford has finally managed to surpass his old record of five apologies an hour. He spent a great deal of time preparing for this day and he finally made it. Now if he could only manage to stop fucking up seven times an hour, he might actually get somewhere. You go Rob.

Anyway… Humouroceros

A Very Heisenberg Christmas

Yeah, I found the picture on the Internets, and I wouldn't mind making one, if I did that sort of thing.

Anyway... Humouroceros

Big Red Is Down!

I think the caption should be; "Big red is down, oh the humanity!"

Anyway... Humouroceros

Fake Sign Language

There are reports that the person who was interpreting at the funeral for Nelson Mandela, the guy who was up on stage with many leaders past and present from the entire world, and signing for the deaf, was a fake. A big old phony who was pretty much just waving his arms and hands around like a bird pretending to have a broken wing to lead a hunter away from it's young, except with even less meaning. On the international bizarre scale, this is a full on b-16 out of 7 (like I said, it's a bizarre scale), and it is getting bizarrer by the moment.

Bruno Druchen, the head of the Deaf Federation of South Africa said the "interpreter" was, "moving his hands around but there was no meaning in what he used his hands for." When asked about this, a spokesman for the governing ANC party said, "government will be able to assist you." So this means that either the spokesman didn't understand the question, or that ironically, he himself is deaf.

I'm trying to see what the upside to doing something like this would be, or how someone could think they could get away with this. Does whoever arranged for this guy think that nobody would notice? Deaf people don't watch TV? Then why have him on in the first place? This is a weird story for sure and I'm looking forward to seeing how it's going to all fall out.

Anyway.. Humouroceros

The War on the War on the War on Christmas

The thing I “like” about the Fox News Service is how on one hand they have this self image of the self reliant, ready to take care of business, fearless Americanism, and on the other hand they are absolutely terrified of everything. The world is out to get them, be afraid, and by the way, the atheists are out to get rid of Christmas. This is, of course, complete bullshit, but it keeps them happy.

See, the thing is that atheists can’t be bothered to have a war on Christmas. There are way more important things to do and doing battle with Jolly Saint Nick is just not worth the effort. And if Christians want to go to church and be all pious and stuff, hey, get ‘er done. Just keep it out of my face and we’ll all be fine. I’ll make fun of you and, well, whatever. It’s all good.

So where does Fox News get it’s “facts”? Well they seem to spend a great deal of time searching out that one school in the continental United States that has a holiday pageant rather than a Christmas pageant. If a company doesn’t drench their stores in red, green and silver bunting, then obviously they are totally anti Christmas. This is what passes for “logic” and “journalistic integrity” at Fox News. The sad thing is that now I get to say “WTF” with them.

Today I received a mass e-mail thing from one of the largest internet service providers in Canada. It mentioned the holidays a lot, and mentioned the holiday season, but the word Christmas was curiously absent. How utterly, utterly odd I thought to myself as I opened it and got ready to toss it into the recycling. Then three postcards dropped out. Of course the first thing I thought there was, why would an internet service provider be sending our snail mail items? That’s weird (or it‘s ironic - either/or I guess). Then I looked at the post-cards, which are to be used to connect with friends and family during the holiday season, and none of them mention Christmas either. Okay, now that is just a little bit silly.

Obviously not everybody buys into the currently popular heavily edited version of the Christmas story, with no room at the Inn and all that noise (I mean really, where is the slaughter of the innocents? Get your Matthew on and remember, old King Herod was bat-shit crazy!), but the 25th of December is still called Christmas. I mean seriously, if anybody is loony enough to bitch every time they see the word ‘Christmas‘, well it’s time to take the string and gum away from those dudes because you just don’t know what they’ll get up to next.

So there are nimrods on both sides of this thing (I can’t even call it an ‘issue’), but the war on Christmas side does seem to have more than it’s fair share. So there’s no war on Christmas, but at times there does seem to be some folks out there who are afraid to use the word Christmas, and that’s just sad.

Anyway… Humouroceros

Henry Rollins - Talk Like a United Station

Let's get this right out of the way now; I like Henry Rollins. I like the music he has made, the books he has written, the fact that he has an opinion and can express it intelligently. I enjoy his spoken word videos and if I ever get the chance to see him live I will do that. So, what don't I like? Every so often Henry pulls the ugly American out of his back pocket, in it doesn't look good on him. In the Shock and Awe video, which every one should go out and buy, Henry talks about going to Iraq and Afghanistan as part of a USO tour. He mentions seeing a woman in a burqa, and he is shocked and offended by it. Here's the thing, I don't like the idea of a burqa either. It is the symbol of a religion that holds women a higher standard than it does men. Men are without self control, like spoiled children, so blame women when anything happens to them, so cover them up like something to be ashamed of. I get it, it's the sign of a "civilization" that is only worthy of contempt because the "men" refuse to take responsibility for their own actions because some twelve hundred year old superstition says they can (I'm looking at you, Muhammad!)

The thing is, the woman he saw has to live there, all the time. I think at that time the allied forces had been in Afghanistan only a few years, and the backwards thinking that considers burqas a good thing is centuries old. There are always going to be assholes who think that a woman without a burqa is fair game, and until that crowd is wiped out, being judgmental of a woman wearing one is a little off-side.

Remember, it was in 2002 that 15 school girls in Saudi Arabia were burned to death because the religious police wouldn't let them be saved when the school they were in burned down. Why were they allowed to burn? Because they weren't wearing correct islamic clothing. That is the mindset that we are up against in that part of the world.

The second example is from Henry's 50th birthday show in Washington DC (where he was introduced on stage by Ian MacKaye - how amazing is that?) He is talking about his trip to Pyongyang, North Korea. Of course as a tourist from the United States, he is escorted by handlers, AKA: spies, one of whom he likes, and one he doesn't. The fellow he likes is named Kim, and Kim tried to tell a joke, which Henry sort of makes fun of, and then later Henry decides to try to get Kim to admit that maybe the North isn't quite all that (which it isn't) He kind of makes fun of how Kim just can't get it through his head that maybe the South is doing better than the North. One again, Henry gets to leave, Kim has to live there, and if Kim says anything bad about the North, he won't be living there long. Also, once again, Kim, his father and his grandfather have all lived under the dictatorship in the North. His entire life of learning has been under the control of a dictator, and it is all he knows (it would be like telling a member of the tea party that the United States is no exceptional.) Oh, Kim also probably knows that if he diss's the North, he will disappear. I don't mind trouble makers, but if you are going to cause trouble you had better be there to face the consequences, and Henry was leaving. Kim was not. Henry is well worth listening to, always, but I still get to think for myself, I suppose.

Anyway... Humouroceros