Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Guarding the border 2

Gentlemen; reading over my notes from my last communication, RE: a border wall betwixt Canada and the US (or do you prefer ‘betwixt the US and Canada?) as well as on your southern border, it occurs to me that the wall I described, while being effective would also have been slightly unsightly. I seems to have a bit too much of that ‘Berlin Wall’ ambience that, as a potential world society, we should be trying to get away from. The optics of a huge ‘stay out’ type of barrier, insinuating some sort of xenophobic theocratic dictatorial autocracy hiding behind their own fear and ignorance are perhaps not what we are looking for. Fair enough.

I have a second idea, and this is one that will tie in nicely with the ‘traditional American values’ thing you folks have going. It’s a little more ‘just folks’, a little more ‘county’, and a lot more ‘low key’ than a thirty foot tall perma-crete wall surrounded by rabid animals and quicksand. Gentlemen, have you considered a white picket fence?

What could be more folksie, down home and ‘hey neighbour, how ya doin’’ than a white picket fence? Yet, let’s not fool ourselves. This fence is not merely for decoration and good public relations. It is also a first line of defense tool, thus I suggest that each picket be armed with a 21,000 mega-joule optical fiber laser attack system, operated by Tandy multi-processing fuzzy-logic CPUs, tandem tied to a profile recognition central computer.

I believe that this system will be less costly to build than the first wall, although maintenance will be a little more expensive. In any event you can depend on it to slice, dice and dust any terrorists who try to cross it. Thank you for listening.
Anyway… Humouroceros

Short sample of white picket fence test built in Idaho - 2006


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