Saturday, June 25, 2011

Sometimes I sit and think...


Sometimes one has to just sit on the back-deck and ponder the great questions of life, the universe and everything. For example, is Clark Kent's tie a clip-on or a full-tie unit? The advantage to a clip-on would be during Clark's quick change to Superman - a clip-on can be yanked off without too much ceremony while a real tie has to be unknotted. Granted with Superman's amazing power of super-speed he could probably whip off a real tie faster than a speeding bullet, but wouldn't that mean that a clip-on could be whipped off even fasterer than a speeding bullet? I would think that time is off the essence when one is off to fight crime.

Here's another one: why do we english speaking folk call Deutschland, Germany? Who was the first Englisher who ran into a square-head, and after asking him where he comes from, hears "Deutshcland" but says, "Oh I say, pip pip, that won't do. I'll call it Germany, by Jove." Typical move for some soft-headed Englishman I guess.

Or how about this: isn't the quail the perfect argument against evolution/natural selection? I'm talking about the California standard quail, not the Nova Scotia vulture-quail or the Nunavut Polar quail, and with the California standard, they are, as individuals or as a group, dumber than fresh pressed spit. When a quail finally notices that there is a threat it immediately forgets that it is a fully flight capable bird and tries to run away, and for the record these birds run like drunken, peg-legged sailors. Even cats will give them a ten second head start, and cats are not known for their sporting natures. To think that this is the end result of millions of years of evolution and natural selection, well, all I can really say is that those prehistoric sabre-toothed quail (or is it cave quail?) must have been really dumb.

Of course once one has pondered the science of natural selection and evolution it is only natural to think about the superstition of Intelligent Design. I wonder if our friends to the south (the United States) still have their chastity belts in a twist over the teaching of intelligent design in schools alongside evolution? As morally cowardly as the concept is, it had a certain amount of power over some of the less honest segments of United Station society back during the Bush years. Back when the politicisation of science was considered a good thing and it was thought by those who are what is known as "soft between the ears" that there was some sort of equivalence between reason and superstition (just like there is between astrology and astronomy, or between healing crystals and medicine, or between politicians and pig-poop. Wait, those last two are equivalent.)

There were groups of moral cowards who were trying to have "intelligent design" taught as just another theory, just like evolution. Actually evolution is a science with over a century of peer reviewed study behind it and "intelligent design" is creationism with a red clown nose on and big floppy shoes. Of course dishonesty has always been big with many of the religious crowd, lying for god they call it, or 'the end justifies the means', and when it comes to hypocrisy like "intelligent design", dishonest is the only way to describe it.

Of course I could be wrong. Maybe this has nothing to do with religion and superstition at all. Maybe by "intelligent design" they mean the earth and everything on it was created, sorry, I mean designed by monkey-whales from Alph Centari III. Ah, but who created, or designed, the monkey-whales? Maybe the gorilla-rats of Klothos VI. And who designed the gorilla-rats? I bet that would be the micro-elephauntors of the outer rim. Of course by now we are back to the beginning of our current universe, so who designed that by jump starting the big bang? Obviously that was the googleplexers out of one of the lower dimensions. And so on and so on, following the mobius strip theory of the universe, until we end up back at us. Well theoretical physics is not my strong point but at least using a model like this would mean that the "intelligent design" crowd are not a pile of hypocritical butt-lumps, which they are.

By the way, I just Googled "intelligent design" and under the news tab the top four hits were that Michele Bachmann, who is running to be the Republican nominee for president in 2012, thinks that "intelligent design" should be taught along side of evolution in schools in the United States. Well, I sort of suspected she was a rubber lipped moron anyway.

Anyway... Humouroceros

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