The longest undefended border in the world 6

John; I had considered contacting the Mounties regarding my recently swiped camera, but in the end I have opted, for a couple of reasons, to go a different route. Reason one is that the photo-card in the camera has about twenty-seven hundred pictures on it, not counting the one of the druggies. Any one of those pictures could be the one that breaks the whole “Canada is a hotbed of Islamic extremism” thing wide open and I want your pros to see it first. Second; I want to show some good old-fashioned W.A.S.P. initiative. The kind of initiative that got my ancestors to leave the old country with nothing but the potatoes on their backs to make a nice new life in the new world. I admit that this may be selfish, but John, that is just how it is.

So to that end I hunted down a guy I went to school with, off and on, back in the day. Anthony (or ‘Ant-knee’ which we called him in our youthful enthusiasm for the strange and the Italian) had been in the same grade as I, but he quit school before grade ten to move into the drug trade (consumption, not supply). Now, some thirty years later, addiction has turned this guy who used to know a bunch of really cool card tricks into a guy who barely knows his own name. The first taste is free, indeed.

I found Anthony as a local park, barfing enthusiastically behind a dispirited looking tree. After he had settled down a bit I gave him the Tim Hortons double double and chicken wrap I had bought, and then described the situation. I could see that he was trying to think so I prodded him with, “Are these some bad dudes, Anthony? Charter members of some drug cartel or biker gang?”

“Nah,” Anthony eventually replied, “they’re just idiots. They listen to gangsta rap and smoke a whole bunch of dope.” He described to me where they live and it sounds kind of rough, but that’s fine. The path to justice can be a rocky one. I’ll keep you posted, John.

Anyway… Humouroceros