Saturday, May 24, 2008

Bad drivers

Cruising home after a busy thirty minutes of shopping (man, I hate shopping) I noticed in my rear-view mirror a little black sports car weaving through traffic like Henri “Lobo” Maquis on the final straight-a-way at the Thunderdome Invitational. Every time that dude saw what he thought was an opening he zipped in there like nobodies business, cutting people off whether they needed it or not.

Soon enough it was my turn and he cut in front of my, stylishly not using his turn-signal in what I can only assume to have been a much-appreciated attempt to keep me alert. A few more surprise lane changes and then he had to stop at a red light, where he sat impatiently revving his motor as he obviously had places to be and women to impress. The light turned green and with a manly chirp of his tires he was off, racing ahead so as to avoid having to weave through traffic all over the place.

I caught up with him again at the next set of lights, also red, where I joined him in the left turn lane. I noticed that he still wasn’t bothering to use his turn-signal, probably just an energy saving sort of move, but I felt confident that he was in fact about to turn left when the light changed. The light turned green and as I had expected he chirped around the corner (manfully) and booted up the hill. He came to a 4-way stop and while he didn’t bother to actually stop, he did tap his brakes before cutting in front of some silly older lady who had sillily (if that’s a word, and even if it isn’t) dared to go when it had been her turn. Silly old thing. At any rate it was at that point that I last saw the little fellow as I was turning right at the 4-way, but I’m sure that he went on to commit more acts of dumbness with his driving antics.

The experience put me in mind of just how annoying b ad drivers are, though. You know who they are (although it is probable that they don’t know who they are). These are the people who are totally bamboozled by the complications of that automotive technological wonder, the turn-signal. Or the people who cannot correctly navigate the subtle mysteries of that most complicated of mazes, the 4-way stop. I believe this to be a small but growing group, and it is definitely time to nip this rotten trend in the bud. Get the bad drivers off the road and into the ditches where they belong. Give ‘em the lumber, as some of my hockey friends used to say. Now I am not advocating anything illegal because that would be wrong, but I would advise people to proceed with caution and like that bald guy used to say on that cop show, let’s be careful out there.

Anyway… Humouroceros


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