Monday, April 28, 2008

Much ado about nothing

The 15-year old “Hannah Montana” TV star, Miley Cyrus, is the latest celebrity to fall afoul of the holier-than-thou crud, I mean, crowd (this is a sad group of people that does not believe that the phrase, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”, applies to them). Apparently there are “racy” and/or “provocative” photos of young Ms Cyrus scattered all over the Internet and it’s all quite the scandal. As I understand it, there are photos of her showing off a green bra, some where she is sporting a bare midriff, where she is with her boyfriend posed “suggestively”, where she is at a sleep-over, and where she is getting made up for a fashion shoot. Yep, she’s the devil. Fire up the oven and let’s burn her now.

But how about we put on the old E-brake for a moment and think about all this without being all tizzified and everything (and for the benefit of the H-T-T [holier-than-thou] bunch, by “think” I mean let’s use our heads for something a little more productive than just hanging our hats on). So she was photographed showing off her bra. What say we be generous (something holy people should understand I would think) and say she just made a mistake. It was a whoopsie daisy moment and not a sign of the apocalypse. Honestly, who among us never made any mistakes when they were fifteen (excepting, of course, the H-T-T crowd who all shine like polished silver and are pure in all ways)? Stuff happens so get over it and move on.

Apparently there are photographs of her wearing a shirt with a bare midriff. OMG! That’s like so totally typical of a teenage girl, like. But for those who had to moan about it, could you read the following carefully: GET SOMEONE TO NAIL YOU IN A BOX, THEN HAVE THAT SOMEONE BURY YOU REALLY DEEP SO THAT REAL LIFE NO LONGER OFFENDS YOU, AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STAY THERE. THANK YOU. There, problem solved.

There is a picture of her with her boyfriend and they are posed “provocatively”. Gosh, I sure hope they’re happy together.

There are pictures of her frolicking at a slumber party. Okay, a couple of things here. I’m pretty sure that girls having slumber parties have been going on since cave-person times, so it’s ok. And although I’ve never really thought about it much I suspect that “frolicking” at a slumber party is sort of the point. Pillow fighting is frolicking, isn’t it? Personally, I’m thinking that these photos tell more about the person who posted them on the Internet than they do about Ms Cyrus. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

This one is my favourite: photographer Annie Leibovitz took some pictures of young Miley for the magazine Vanity Fair. The photos I’ve seen show her covered with a towel as she is being made up for the official fashion photos. It does look like she is not wearing a shirt but I suspect that the shirt she would be wearing would probably be fairly expensive and they would be trying to avoid getting makeup on it. Shocking! Her hair has been described as “tousled” which means, I suppose, that it hadn’t been brushed yet. I have read that her dad was at the photo shoot and I am wondering if the H-T-T squad are so dim that they figure that he would just sit by as his daughter was photographed in a manner that he would object to. Right.

I tried to read the comments of Miley Cyrus’s MySpace page, but that stuff is hard to read. If I had spelled that bad back in school, well it would have been ugly (or am I just showing my age?). I read in one report of lots of negative comments on the page but I could only find one (at the time I was checking), and it was so badly spelled that I wasn’t even sure if it was negative or not. Oh well, the H-T-T bunch probably don’t feel that they have to spell well.

Anyway… Humouroceros

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