Monday, May 07, 2007

Poker and Bowling - Sports?

In the gym I go to there are a whack (where a ‘whack’ is equal to 8) TVs along one wall. This is so that while exercising your body you don’t have to exercise your mind, so you can turn it off for a while and watch some tube. My personal choice is to plug in the old I-Pod and listen to some decent music since any day of the week I would rather listen to bad music than watch good TV (not counting Battlestar Galactica, any of the Star Treks, or the Trailer Park Boys, obviously.)

Generally I completely ignore whatever images are flickering away on the screens, concentrating on getting the old heart-rate up to 130 or so although I do look up every so often just in case something interesting accidentally makes it through the lawyer and censor filters employed by all the major networks. Two things caught my eye the other day. There were two sports channels being displayed and what I found odd was that unless you consider poker or bowling sports, neither of them was showing sports. Weird.

The fact that poker is shown on TV at all is pretty strange anyway. The fact that it is shown on a sports channel is even stranger. I would have figured that the only cable channel that would even have an audience big enough to justify showing poker would have been the FDS (Fat Drunk Smoker) network, but I guess even they have standards.

The four poker champs, or studs, playing that morning would have been difficult to caricature since they were already caricatures. There was the nervous, sweaty guy (going a little heavy on the sweaty part), glancing at his cards all the time and mopping his dripping brow. There was the cool red-neck with a ball-cap, mirrored sunglasses (since the lights in those poker stadiums are so very, very bright), and a t-shirt from his favorite country and western bar. There was the ugly alcoholic who had a face, which looked to have been pushed through one too many bottles of scotch, vodka, gin or whatever. The last ‘athlete’ was the ‘smart guy’, dressed a little sharper (in a grimy hipster sort of way) than the others and packing a smile that never changed.

Surprisingly enough there wasn’t a lot of action, unless you consider ‘sweating’ action, and the most exciting thing I saw was when the alcoholic shot his wad, got up and walked carefully around the table shaking hands with his opponents. After all, these men were all warriors on the same battlefield and booze-boy had just retired with honour. It was kind of touching, but not really.

As far as the bowling goes, I just don’t like bowling. It just seems too Flintstones to me, and that is kind of weird because I do like the Flintstones. I suppose that really it is kind of like curling, which is in the Olympics, and curling is sort of a sport, so I guess bowling is too. I don’t know. I’ve been wrong before though, so it doesn’t really bother me much any more.

Anyway… Humouroceros


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