Tuesday, May 01, 2007

A part of nature

I was talking to a friend at work when the subject of hunting came up. “So where do you hunt?” he asked. “I don’t,” I answered.

He gave me a knowing look. “I get it. You don’t want to tell me where you go.”

“Not really,” I said. “I don’t hunt. I don’t own any guns and I don’t go out into the woods to whack animals for food or fun. I don’t hunt.”

He sat there for a few moments and I could feel the chill that had suddenly come into the air. “So you’re one of those anti-hunting guys.”

“Nope. I just don’t hunt. I don’t care if you do. I don’t”

“Yeah. So you’re anti-hunting. You are against hunting, right?”

“Wrong. I just don’t hunt. If you want to hunt, fly at it. Knock yourself out. Make a weekend of it. It’s just not something I’m interested in doing. My dad tried to get me interested in hunting and it never took. My great-grandfather hunted, my grandfather hunted, several of my uncles hunt and my dad hunted. I don’t.”

“So why are you against hunting?”

Getting frustrated, I said, “I’m not against hunting.”

“But you don’t hunt.”

Ah, light at the end of the tunnel. “No”

“So you’re against hunting,” he said triumphantly.

Crikey. “I am not against hunting. Bring in a moose steak and I’ll help you eat it. I don’t hunt, myself. Why is that so hard to understand?”

He sat for a while, ruminating over all this. Finally, “Do you fish?” he asked.

“Yeah, I have fished. Not in a while but I have fished. It can be pretty relaxing.”

“Do you catch and release?”

“It’s been quite a while since I fished at all but if I ever do I don’t think I’ll release anything I manage to catch.”

“Well then,” he leaned back, satisfied, “you are a hunter.”

“Sure. If that makes you feel better.”

“You don’t consider fishing hunting?”

“I guess, technically. But it’s not exactly getting out into the woods, tracking an animal and killing it. Fishing is more luck and hunting seems to be more of a skill. I couldn’t track an animal if it left a trail of breadcrumbs and spray-painted trees.”

Surprisingly enough, he conceded the point. “Okay. So you don’t hunt.”

“No.”

“And you’re not anti-hunting or against hunting in any way?”

“Not against hunting for food, no. Trophy hunting is a little sick.”

“You’re not a hunter,” he observed.

“I’m not a hunter,” I agreed.

“Well then,” he said, “I guess I’m more a part of nature than you are.”

Yeah. Whatever.

Anyway… Humouroceros

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