Sunday, May 13, 2007

21st Century gamblers fashion

There is a company out of Kitchener, Ontario (check out: http://kitchener.kijiji.ca/c-buy-and-sell-health-special-needs-Adult-Incontinence-Cloth-Diapers-NEW-27-39-Waist-W0QQAdIdZ13612436) that will sell to you, for $35 ($60 for two pair) a pair of fashionably coloured adult diapers, which are being advertised as perfect for, “Gamblers all night in the Casino.” Apparently some folks who are in the lower numbers, IQ-wise, have figured out that if they sit (in their own urine) at a slot-machine for long enough, pumping in whatever you shove into those things, they will win big. Speaking for myself, I would have to win pretty big before I would sit in my own (or anybody else’s) liquid waste.

I don’t know if this is becoming required fashion for casinos or not, but I would suspect not. I’ve always sort of figured that people who go to casinos in the first place have a self-image of themselves as, say, James Bond in Monte Carlo, playing vingt-et-un against some Russian spy, and sipping on a dry martini, shaken not stirred. To me the adult diaper just doesn’t fit into this picture.

Also, the fact is that your average slot-machine works totally randomly and you can slam in all the quarters you want but your chances of winning do not increase. There is a reason that they are called ‘one-armed-bandits’, and there is a reason that casinos are called 'casinos' and not 'we-give-money-away-places'. Of course someone who has a gambling addiction would never look at it that way, or probably even believe it and therefore the adult diaper is a reasonable choice for casino attire. As Groucho Marx used to say about his brother Chico, (I’m paraphrasing) “he would stand in front of a movie-theater playing Ben Hur and place bets that Ben Hur would lose the chariot-race because he figured that Ben Hur had to lose eventually.”

Anyway… Humouroceros

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