Saturday, June 17, 2006

Drugs in the workplace

I had a meeting with the Human Resources fellow in the place where I work recently and while we were waiting for a third person to show up he showed me a couple of badly burned soda-pop cans he was keeping on a shelf in his office. “Ten points if you can tell me what these are,” he says.

I took a close look at one of the cans, applying the methods of Sherlock Holmes as best I could. The pop-top tab was missing; there was a dime-sized hole on the side and a quarter way around the can from that there was a bunch of tiny holes punched in a tight circle. The entire can was slightly crumpled with a indent where the tiny holes were and as I mentioned earlier, the can was burned black. “If I didn’t know you better I would say that these were a couple of your dirt-cheap dope pipes,” I joked.

He smiled slightly. “No, they’re not mine and yes, they are dope pipes, if you call crack dope, that is. I don’t really keep track of drug terminology.”

“Hmm,” I hmmed, mildly interested. “I’ve never seen a crack pipe before.” I looked at how burnt the can was. Burnt enough that you could barely make out which brand of pop it had held. “I wonder how the druggies hold on to this. It must get pretty hot to burn black like this.”

“Well, we do have lots of good gloves around the factory here.”

The light went on. “You mean these were found here? Inside the factory?” Great. I knew that there were a few crazy people in the place, but I had always assumed that they were 100% all-natural crazy. It was not good to find out that there were stoned crazy people about as well. “Where were they found?”

“Downstairs in the repair area, but lots of people have access to that area and it would be tricky to monitor everybody who passes through there on any given day. Do you recognize this?” he asked as he passed me an improvised roach-clip.

“Yeah,” I answered, “this one I know. From years ago when the times and the drugs were simpler, you understand.”

“Of course,” he said.

Anyway… Humouroceros


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