Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Royal Wedding on the cheap


Dog my cats, how I hate going on and on about this deal but once again the upcoming Royal Wedding in jolly old Eng-er-lund has jerked itself onto my own personal radar. Now as a fine upstanding citizen of the Commonwealth this latest situation is probably something I should have considered all on my own, but here it is: who is paying for this shindig?

I understand that traditionally weddings are paid for by the family of the blushing bride, but I suspect that your average Royal Wedding costs a couple of dollars (or “pounds” which are almost like real money) more than your bog-common, “let’s get married in the backyard and Aunt Em will make the dress” variety of wedding. I don’t know what Kate’s parents do for a living (and I can’t really be bothered to Google up that particular information) but I figure unless they are either televangelists or drug-lords they are not even going to be able to afford to pay for the drinks served at the wedding rehearsal dinner.

So who picks up the tab when Kate’s mom and dad can’s afford the whole deal? In a tradition bound sub-culture such as the Royals in Eng-er-lund inhabit it is probably unthinkable that the family of the blushing groom would pick up the tab, or even part of it, even though they do have more money than your average church. “It just ain’t done, wot?” as one Royal pensioner or another would have said were they all not inbred into incomprehensibility, yet such a drooling mess as would say something like that has a fair point. If you want to get into the Royal Family then certain dues should have to be paid. Granted, a Royal Wedding with all the bells and whistles is a pretty stiff price to pay, but considering that one day a grandkid of yours will be King or Queen of the whole Commonwealth (unless of course the peasants and other commoners rise up in revolt) maybe the cost of a Royal Wedding is cheap. I’m sure there are ways to cut costs a little without being too obvious about it. Instead of holding the ceremony at the posh St Pauls Cathedral (where Chuck and Di tied the knot (loosely) in front of 3500 of their closest friends), hold it at the slightly rundown yet still popular Westminster Abbey. Instead of inviting heads of state from all over the world, don’t invite the less popular ones. Does the President of France really need to be there? Cut the guest list down to a manageable 3000 or so, and don’t serve the best wine or cuts of beef. I mean, they’re British. Is anybody really going to notice that the food is bad?

Ah well, as long as the taxpayers don’t have to foot the bill, it’s all good.

Anyway… Humouroceros

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