Thursday, January 28, 2010

PETA are funny

The recent biological terrorist attack in Canada by an operative of what has been described as the terrorist organization, PETA, has brought the here-to-fore little regarded organization to the fore-front of international terrorist reduction and elimination organizations. In my continuing efforts to reduce the effects of terrorist activities worldwide, I have taken it upon myself to investigate PETA by any and all means available.

Of course in this modern age of the information super-hi-way the first place I bootled off to was Google (Google may have knuckled under to the Chinese dictatorship in order to get into China and suck up a few bucks, but isn't that the very definition of capitalism? "Fuck you Jack, it's good for me?" Huh?) Now I must stress that I am a self-trained professional so don't try this at home. Okay, go ahead. This first thing I found out was that this organization, PETA, has it's own web-site. Now that is so weird. I mean, terrorist groups like al-Qa'ida, the IRA and the Sons of Katie Elder don't have web-sites, but PETA does. I was shocked, if bemused, to find that this shameless terrorist organization was putting up all their dastardly deeds (along with a lot of naked pictures of hot chicks, and some video too!) online for anybody with a half-decent computer and an Internet connection to see.

I rapidly scanned their home-page and quickly zoned in on a link near the bottom: Canadian Seal Slaughter. This link lead to an Olympic Shame 2010 page, and I am forced to admit that for a moment I was almost onside with this particular terrorist group ('almost' because of my own particular feelings regarding the olympic disaster about the engulf this province all too soon.) I explored further, clicking on "Why Is Canada Killing Seals (I had thought it was because there was an international market for seal fur, but I am always willing to hear other views.) Out of six paragraphs at the link there is one sentence RE: the fur, "The seal slaughter exists because of the overall demand for fur." Spot on! And other than terrorist acts what does PETA suggest that folks do about the annual seal hunt? I am forced to quote, first that "kind people everywhere are calling on the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee to use it's influence to help stop the slaughter", and second, "Boycott a product that is vital to Canada's economy: maple syrup"!!!

Hmmm... So you can write a letter to the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee (known as VANOOC, pronounced "VAN-OOK" or "dick-heads") and/or you can boycott maple syrup. Right. Let's see... In the first place, even if you use the handy little form letter provided by PETA (for those terrorists who are a little short of time) VANOOC does not care about you or your quaint little concerns. At all. Even a little bit. They don't care about the people in British Columbia and they especially don't care about some seals at the other end of the country. Now, in the second place, maple-frigging-syrup?! At first I thought that it would maybe make a little more sense to boycott, I don't know, maybe seal-fur, and then I finally got it. PETA is not a terrorist organization, they are more of a funny online humour thing, like the Onion is, except apparently they have a finely honed sense of irony, which I am not used to seeing in people south of the 49th (the United States). It would appear that Ms McCoy, who recently "attacked" a Federal Minister in Canada was just doing performance art.

Man, good one.

Anyway... Humouroceros

PS: This view explains why in a video montage of the seal hunt on the PETA site they added in blood in at least one of the clips. I mean, it has to be a joke, right? Obviously anybody who lies to make their point hasn't got much of a point in the first place and is probably not to be trusted.


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