Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Terrorist strike in Canada - whoop!

The headline could not help but catch my eye. The gist of it was, were our friends to the south (the United States) doing enough to prevent the importation of terrorist acts? As I read, the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism has decided that "it is more likely that not" that a biological WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction, duh) will be used in a terrorist attack "sometime in the world by the end of 2013"

Well talk about closing the barn door after the cows have been turned into hamburger and milkshakes on a nearby hi-way! As it turns out the very day before this report was released there was a terrorist biological attack in Canada! An operative (or "terrorist") from the well known terrorist organization known as PETA used a biological weapon in an attack on a minister of the Crown, the right-honourable Gail Shea, the Federal Fisheries Minister. At this point it is not clear whether the weapon was smuggled across the border into Canada or whether it was assembled in Canada by persons unknown, but the fact of the weapons actual use are undeniable.

One Emily McCoy, 37, out of the terrorist training camps of New York City, USA, with malice aforethought pushed what has been described by some as, "a tofu pie" into the face of Minister Shea. She then began yelling, "Shame on you, Canada" while being lead away by ministerial security buddies. She was later charged with assault. This is Ms McCoy's second offence in Canada as in October of 2009 she disrupted a meeting held by this same minister. One supposes that Ms McCoy is grateful that she was caught in Canada rather than her homeland of the United States, as Canadians, as a very general rule, are not prone to sending suspected terrorists off to some third-party country for an extended round of torture and finger breaking. I wonder what would have happened if Ms McCoy had interrupted a meeting headed by Donald Rumsfeld back in the day, and then three months later smoked him with a "tofu pie". I suspect she would have been on the next plane to Syria for some aggressive interrogation before being released, naked and drugged to the gills in one of the less popular areas of Amsterdam. That is just a guess, of course.

Still, as this is Ms McCoy's second offence in Canada it is probable that she will receive a rather severe sentence. I should imagine she will get away with a firm finger-wagging and a suspended sentence, and that ought to take care of this nonsense. Then ship her home!


Anyway... Humouroceros

A German WW 2 photo of an original WMD pie


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