Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Our friends to the south (the United States), particularly the Republican political party (AKA: the GOP – the Grand Old Party) have lucked onto a potentially winning for the upcoming presidential election this coming November. There are those who call what is happening ‘the Palin effect’ after the Republican vice-presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska. Personally I find it hard to believe that the GOP actually had the foresight to see that the choice of someone like Governor Palin (youngish, good looking, hardcore right-wing) would pump life back into the old party, but nothing else makes sense. I just can’t bring myself to believe that the response to Governor Palin’s choice wasn’t expected and even looked for because they must have understood the chance they were taking. Considering all the noise they have been making regarding Senator Barrack Obama’s inexperience with US foreign policy, bringing in a vice-president candidate with an equal (where ‘equal’ = ‘zip’) amount of foreign policy experience was a pretty gutsy move.

It could be seen as a cynical attempt to attract younger people to the Republican party, and I’m sure that the rumours that they had been planning to change their party nick-name from the GOP to the GROWPP (the Grand Really Old White Person’s Party) are probably untrue (although as a new name it would fit pretty good.) The Republicans have always seemed to be stuck in the conservative side of the nineteen sixties, maybe not quite Archie Bunker, but a better-dressed version perhaps. The wilder, looser members of the party would be a Hugh Hefner type of hipster, loaded down with gold chains and white leather belts. Not a pretty picture by anybody’s lights but then along comes Governor Palin in her red “power” suit and now the game has changed.

One political show I was watching said that having Governor Palin along on a speaking engagement with Senator McCain could double the size of the crowd. Everybody wants to see the chick who whacks moose (uh… Palin) and nobody wants to see the guy who may be the next president (that would be Senator McCain)(d’uh!) That’s just weird. Especially when you consider that one of her main topics of conversation (when she’s not pretending to be Ann Coulter) is that she is really just a hockey-mom from Alaska. Now I’ve known a few hockey-moms in my time (I am, after all, Canadian) and there is not one who I would want to be a heartbeat (or a cancer cell) away from being the most powerful person in the history of the world (the President of the United States)(d’uh again). Screaming in the stands and shaking a rattle made from a pop bottle filled with popcorn is not good training for political office. In fact the only thing worse than a hockey-mom for president would be a hockey-dad. Most of those guys are loons.

The guys running in Canada (for Prime Minister) would probably like to take a page from the Republican playbook in this regard (the Conservatives would probably like just to use the Republican playbook and be done with it). Unfortunately there is no such thing as a vice-Prime Minister so all that we Canadians have to look at is the party leaders. Dull and Duller (Conservative Harper and Liberal Dion) and then the lesser Dulls like the leader of the New Democratic Party (Layton who looks like a younger, more fit Lenin), the leader of the Green Party (whose name escapes me but be assured, she is dull), and the little mutt from the Bloque Quebecois (who is a dull jerk. He once fired a campaign bus driver for missing a turn and getting lost. Obviously a man of the people.) This is the Canadian setup.

Of course they are only the party leaders and we don’t vote for them. We vote for the local person and whichever party wins the most seats then the leader of that party is the Prime Minister (this is basic Canadian politics. About as basic as you can get.) The local people are about as dull as the leaders though, so it doesn’t matter.

Anyway… Humouroceros


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