My bank loves me

It’s almost too good to be true. My bank just sent me the great news that I have been pre-approved for a credit line up to ten thousand dollars and at an incredible interest rate of only nine percent! I know it’s great news because: A) they told me it is, and 2) there’s a picture of a cute couple running around in a care-free manner on the acceptance form. If that don’t beat all I don’t know what does. Imagine, with one quick signature I could whack myself ten grand into debt, no muss, no fuss. What could possibly be wrong with that? And there’s more! I would have the option of interest only payments, I have access to borrow through an ATM or even online, and (get this) there is no annual fee. Man, it’s like they just want to give me money! It’s a great country we live in.

The best part? The agreement I would have to sign is one and three-quarters pages of tiny, tiny printing. So tiny that I wouldn’t even actually have to read it! Isn’t that great? I mean, it’s probably just a bunch of legal stuff that the government makes them say and doesn’t really matter anyway. They even provide a postage paid envelope for me so I can get this thing started with a minimum of effort. Incredible.

The thing on it is that I would feel guilty taking their money (I know, I blame my parents for raising me proper.) When someone has made a mistake like this where they want to just give you money so you can run around on the hills all care-free like the couple in the picture, you shouldn’t take advantage. I will be running the whole package through the shredder, but first I want to take a look at that young couple again. Man, they look so happy.

Anyway… Humouroceros

The care-free young couple