Thursday, January 10, 2008

Dorkter Phil

I see in the news that genuine psychiatrists are all ganging up on Oprah Winfrey's good buddy, Doctor Phil. From what I can gather it appears that Phil was contacted by the family of pop-princess Britney Spears, and he was asked, or perhaps even begged, to get in there and cure whatever it is that ails the young lady. (FYI: I don't tend to follow this sort of "news" but it seems that Britney has been loudly heading towards some sort of mental breakdown for a while now. I don't know what sort of managers or advisers she has but they seem to be of the same ilk that thought the "teenage slut" image was a good one. I've been told that she's been acting out for the past year or so; shaving her head, working over cars with golf clubs and hanging out with Paris Hilton. Kind of sounds like someone asking for help to me, yet her managers, who appear to a man to be the types that molest goats and chickens, put her on TV to lip-sync to a song. I youTubed that performance and if she wasn't stoned, she should have been. What she should not have been was on television. Most recently she had some kind of fit and the police became involved and she wound up in hospital for observation. Enter Dr. Phil.)

Dr. Phil, who is possibly not a half rotten pile of garbage, decided that the best way to help Britney was to use the tried and true (as well as psychiatrically sound) method of ambush-psychotherapy and then televise the festivities. To this end, Phil and his camera crew (along with his usual gang of suck-ups and sycophants) all piled into their Lexus' and their stretch-limos and burned down to the hospital to thrust microphones and cameras into Britney's face as she was released. Would this be good for TV ratings? Probably since there is a certain segment of the viewing public that enjoys watching this sort of thing (hence the popularity of all the "reality" shows). Would it be good for Britney? Not so much. As wonderful as this sort of thing may be for Phil's bank-account, I'm pretty sure that some droop-faced, bubble-butt yelling at her would do Britney no good at all.

Of course helping people has never been Phil's #1 reason for doing anything anyway. In fact, in response to the genuine psychiatrists flaming him, philthy Phil said, "Somebody needs to step up and get this young woman into some quality care - and I do not apologize one whit, not one second, for trying to make that happen." Or for wanting to televise it all, right Phil? Anything for a buck, especially by a "man" who has been described (by some) as a hundred pounds of manure in a fifty pound bag.

Nobody is coming out of this story looking real good though. Britney's family finally realize that she needs help so the first person they turn to is a publicity-pig rather than a real psychiatrist? Real good. Mind you, judging by past practice, this seems to be the usual high quality advice that this girl gets anyway. I wonder how long until she is the subject of one of those "where are they now" bits on some entertainment channel and everybody can blame her for trusting them and taking their bad advise, and you can just bet that old full-o-crap Phil will be there, spewing his usual verbal diarrhea about how he could have helped if only everybody had listened to him.

Oprah, you have done a lot of good and accomplished a lot, but putting your name behind the greedy, self-serving creep known as Phil was not one of your better ideas.

Anyway... Humouroceros


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