Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Photographic evidence has surfaced that may hold the key to proving a long-held theory of the Canadian Institute of the Theoretical Sciences (CITS). It was in early 1985 that Professor Reihold Simpson first presented a paper on the prehistoric existence of a land-bridge between the Antarctic sub-continent and the northern hemisphere. “It wasn’t a good time,” the professor admits, “many of my so-called colleagues in the so-called real sciences really laced into me. Their cries of ‘pseudo-science’ and ‘populist pap’ were totally off-side and personally offensive. The field of archaeological study is quite tricky enough, thank-you very much, and I think that a little more professionalism and a little less tabloid bickering would have been the proper way to discuss this. Also, you have to remember that these are people who believe in ‘plate tectonics’. Now there’s a theory without any merit!”

The professor brightened as he returned to the subject of the theoretical land-bridge. “Yes, this is the only logical explanation for many things that have puzzled us for decades. Questions abound and the existence of a prehistoric land-bridge would simplify matters greatly. The only problem has been evidence but since the geologic event that destroyed the land-bridge was so devastating that there is none. Unfortunately, we thought, the indigenous native peoples of the time only kept oral histories and most of that was lost when Europeans arrived. We thought, that is, until now.” And with that the professor flourishes what he terms one of the most exciting and important discoveries in recent history. A photograph that appears to show a Haida cave-drawing of a penguin (the Haida are a First Nations band living mainly on the Haida Gwaii archipelago (the Queen Charlotte Islands) off northern British Columbia, Canada. They are well known for their distinctive and elaborate two-dimensional designs, called “flat designs”, which are tightly controlled by formal canons of both line and form. Archaeological evidence show that the Haida have lived on Haida Gwaii since the end of the last ice-age.)

At this point in time there is only the one photograph available and the professor does not know where it was taken. “All we know for sure is that it was taken in a cave somewhere on the shore of Lake Hecksapoppin in the North Hecksapoppin Valley, in British Columbia’s southern interior. The gentleman who provided us with the photo has requested a rather huge sum of money in exchange for any information as to the exact location of the cave. Negotiations are going on now and I don’t like to interfere but I believe that no amount of money is too much to ask for information of this sort. The sky’s the limit. You just have to see this photograph to understand how important it is that a properly equipped expedition goes to the cave.”

The photograph, which is not of the best quality, shows what appears to be a traditional Haida painting of a penguin. “The only explanation of a native artist from the northern end of North America to even know what a penguin is or that they even exist is if he had seen one. These are birds of the Antarctic and the only explanation is that back when there was a land-bridge penguins migrated north. It’s obvious.”

Doctor Victor Fronkonsteen of the Royal Prehistoric Land-mass Society disagrees. “Reihold is a nut,” he says. It would appear that only after a well organized group finds and studies the cave will we know for sure.

Anyway… Humouroceros

The Cave-penguin


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