Saturday, December 19, 2009

Oral Roberts croaks

Creepus-maximus, Oral Roberts, has been called home (finally) and while many are perhaps wondering what Oral and Jerry Falwell will be talking about as they burn together, I had a different take on the whole situation. What I wonder is, is Oral actually surprised to find himself squatting on the extra-crispy rack in one of the deeper, less popular, pits of hell? Somehow, I don't think so.

The way I figure it is this: As everybody remembers, back in January of 1987 Oral told his television audience that God had told him that unless he raised 8-million dollars by March of that year, God would "call him home". The suckers came through and he raised 9.1-million, but for me the question remained, why didn't Oral want to get "called home"? I had figured that a good Christian fellow like old Oral would have popped wood at the opportunity to 'go home' and sit at the right side of Christ, discussing sports and porn and other deep matters of the spirit. But no, Oral didn't seem to want to go. The best I can figure now is that when His Honour (God) spoke to Oral regarding the original 8-mil, the Big Guy maybe mentioned in passing that seeing as Oral was a turd scented little criminal, when he croaked he would be heading south to fry.

Well Oral has gone home now and is popping and hissing with the worst of them, and the world is now a slightly better place.

Anyway... Humouroceros

The big 'O' having his CPU reset from 'greedy' to 'extra-greedy' by fellow traveller, Kenny 'thief-master' Copeland


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